October 18 to December 18
Winter in Warwick.
I love my hometown, and have always felt so fortunate to come from a small town full of great people. The remainder of my time in NY was spent with the Reils and all my other long-time loves, resting, hunting for a new-to-me car. After I was done freaking out in my post-accident slug state, I was able to make some pictures I am incredibly excited by. My undying love for the places and people I share history with.
NOTE: While my blog posts will always be accompanied by snapshots, I have chosen not to edit or share the project photographs until the completion of the book. For me, editing a project while still in the shooting stage is simply not the way for me remain open to new ways of seeing. Photos here are outtakes, or from my instagram @kimberlysikora.
It occurred to me that because of the car accident, I’ve really only had two weeks to explore new places. Other than my time spent in Yellowstone and Oregon, I have been exclusively visiting familiar places and visiting with old friends. It seems significant that I’ve spent so much time with what I’d consider my foundation before moving onto to new experiences.
After Thanksgiving I drove up to Providence to wander around and see old college friends.
My old job at the Nature Lab.
All the feels.
Found a good relic:
I was taught by some really incredible professors in undergrad. It’s such a harrowing experience to put your photographs up on the wall when you’re unsure of what you feel. Point being, Steve and Ann were great at helping navigate all that. It was a total joy to share my project with them and talk about future plans. Group consensus: being an artist is hard.
I also caught up with Thad and Jo, who in the time that I’ve seen them, materialized a family. Time has really gone by, and I spent a lot of time walking around, thinking about where I was when I was a student in Providence. Where I thought I’d be by 30, what I wanted, what I was afraid of.
There are times when I feel like I know nothing, especially in the middle of this project. Having let go of my jobs, my apartment, all my ties to San Francisco to do this, it’s hard not to be reminded of that loss. I no longer want those things, but I did leave them after years and years of slowly building them all up.
Kicking around my old spaces in Providence had me feeling hopeful and excited and wise as all hell. I’m so happy to be diving into life as an artist, whatever that will ultimately mean. Though this project is a finite pursuit, my intention to live inside that definition is permanent. I think I’ve always been afraid to declare this as something I want. If I learned anything from the countless conversations with artists at the Headlands this summer, it’s that there is no one path. Making a living as an artist is a commitment to being willing to move and willing to do more with less. Stringing together multiple teaching jobs, or maybe just one. Constantly rearranging different parts of your livelihood to accommodate what you want to make.
Headed back South for my last night in Warwick, and down towards my Mom’s house in VA for Christmas. Stopped en route at friends’ in Maryland, and was fortunate to get some physical therapy from my friend Kim. I’m still experiencing some back pain from the accident, and it worsens exponentially during long drives. I have to stop every hour, partly due to anxiety, mostly due to pain. Looking forward to spending a month with the Seervelds in FL where I can get consistent care.
Here’s Kim dry-needling my lower back.
Christmas at mom’s can be summed up as follows: Good food, great conversations, beer, bourbon, pajamas and packing. Got all my camping stuff I had shipped there after the wreck, and prepared to go south!
My trip from VA to Charleston was the absolute best. I saw nothing interesting and stopped nowhere amazing, but I had the best time driving since before the crash. Great music, lots of room to think and sing, and that feeling of significance, excitement and freedom that comes with moving forward.
So happy to have this seeping back into my solo time.
Also, first night sleeping in the car at a rest stop. Doesn’t sound terribly exciting but it WAS.
Arrived in Charleston to Anna and the rest of the Marcells at the most beautiful house ever, filled with the greatest of folks.
Looking out the Marcell’s backyard towards the creek and the Ashley River.
First oyster roast! Before and after.
Christmas tree fires, Charleston house party, beans and collards for luck and money in the new year.
Over the holiday at the Marcell’s, I made better curtains for the car! The first attempt didn’t hold up well in the blaring lights of the North Carolina rest stop where I slept. Too transparent and too small, so I ended up hanging all my clothes on the lines to give myself privacy for the night. Felt and looked like a total gypsy. Here’s Dino helping.
These ones came out better, and I finished the ends with wire and a fabric cover, so I can quickly take them up or down when I park someplace for the night.
Impenetrable fort! Dark even in the daytime!
A few more days in Charleston before I move on to Savannah and hole up with David, Christine and Eve in Florida for a month.